I can't seem to find the motivation to do anything creative. I was supposed to use my time on winter break to finally get some creative stuff done; you know finish recording some songs, finish a drawing-shit, take some pictures even... But the only thing i've done so far is drink and smoke and party.
At least i've been able to meditate regularly like I promised myself I would, but I didn't keep up on my workout schedual (sigh). I've wanted for so long to get my blogs up and running also, but everytime I try I make one or two posts and then stop...
Ok, from now on i'm writing atleast on entry a day in this blog even if nobody reads it.
Saturday, January 10, 2009
Tuesday, January 15, 2008
You Can't Hold Me Down
The one of the most amazing songs on the most amazing hiphop album in a long time. Check it ya'll, this is how hiphop should be.
Right now i'm rolling a blunt, and of course, the guts just fell in my lap. Yea, it's that kinda day. In fact, it's all the things that have happened in the past 24 hours that's made decide to start this blog. I hope most of my posts don't end up being about my personal issues, but this one is important.
I'm in college. Maryland Institute College of Art. Yep, i'm an artist and yep, i'm fucked up. I fucked up my whole semester partying with all the kids I met that are like me and I had the time of my life, bipolar and academic issues aside. But this winter break things have changed.
More like exploded. My parents, divorced of ten years, are in court. I live with my mom, the most wonderful woman in the world. She's given everything to support us and give us and give us a good education. But my father, head of surgery at a private hospital, wants to pay for practically nothing and my mom is pretty much out of money. We can't even fix our roof and they're about to shut the lights off in my house. On top of that, he's trying to take my lil sister from my mom for just so he doesn't have to pay child support...
One of my best friends took me to cop some bud and ended up having to attempt a gas station robbery for his cousin who owed his connect $600 bucks and was gonna get sprayed that night if he couldn't come up with it. They wanted me to be the driver and put me on the spot. One fake and one almost real stick-up, a drug run with more weight than i'd ever seen, many lies to my mom and $600 dollars out my pocket later I made it home only to find out my other best friends mom who is like family to me found out about us smoking in his house but thinks it's only me and doesn't want me around anymore.
But fuck that, my sister is about to fail outa middle school, my dads using that as an excuse to get at my mom in court, and she's dealing with her emerging depression because of all the fucked up shit we've been through. Great. Oh yea, the college said I lost all my scholarships and my tuition is due this month.
I got no chicks, no cheeba, no chedda and this world is fire but all I can do is watch. So now what? What am I gonna do? What can I do...
Get buck, that's what. I don't give a shit, not a flying 47 as to what i'm going against. I've made it this far. Through loneliness and depression and mental illness, through street fights and private institutions with teachers who said I wouldn't make it. Through a father who tried to make all our lives a living hell for some cash yet still pretend he loves us. Through losing a girl who was my world, the only thing that made me happy, right when I was diagnosed and in the most difficult time in my life.
This shit don't faze. This shit can't break me. I'ma smoke this L, thro on my fatigues and my boots, and get to doing what needs to be done, by any means necessary.
So to all ya'll who got the world against you, suit up.
It's time to get this paper
Right now i'm rolling a blunt, and of course, the guts just fell in my lap. Yea, it's that kinda day. In fact, it's all the things that have happened in the past 24 hours that's made decide to start this blog. I hope most of my posts don't end up being about my personal issues, but this one is important.
I'm in college. Maryland Institute College of Art. Yep, i'm an artist and yep, i'm fucked up. I fucked up my whole semester partying with all the kids I met that are like me and I had the time of my life, bipolar and academic issues aside. But this winter break things have changed.
More like exploded. My parents, divorced of ten years, are in court. I live with my mom, the most wonderful woman in the world. She's given everything to support us and give us and give us a good education. But my father, head of surgery at a private hospital, wants to pay for practically nothing and my mom is pretty much out of money. We can't even fix our roof and they're about to shut the lights off in my house. On top of that, he's trying to take my lil sister from my mom for just so he doesn't have to pay child support...
One of my best friends took me to cop some bud and ended up having to attempt a gas station robbery for his cousin who owed his connect $600 bucks and was gonna get sprayed that night if he couldn't come up with it. They wanted me to be the driver and put me on the spot. One fake and one almost real stick-up, a drug run with more weight than i'd ever seen, many lies to my mom and $600 dollars out my pocket later I made it home only to find out my other best friends mom who is like family to me found out about us smoking in his house but thinks it's only me and doesn't want me around anymore.
But fuck that, my sister is about to fail outa middle school, my dads using that as an excuse to get at my mom in court, and she's dealing with her emerging depression because of all the fucked up shit we've been through. Great. Oh yea, the college said I lost all my scholarships and my tuition is due this month.
I got no chicks, no cheeba, no chedda and this world is fire but all I can do is watch. So now what? What am I gonna do? What can I do...
Get buck, that's what. I don't give a shit, not a flying 47 as to what i'm going against. I've made it this far. Through loneliness and depression and mental illness, through street fights and private institutions with teachers who said I wouldn't make it. Through a father who tried to make all our lives a living hell for some cash yet still pretend he loves us. Through losing a girl who was my world, the only thing that made me happy, right when I was diagnosed and in the most difficult time in my life.
This shit don't faze. This shit can't break me. I'ma smoke this L, thro on my fatigues and my boots, and get to doing what needs to be done, by any means necessary.
So to all ya'll who got the world against you, suit up.
It's time to get this paper
Damage Aproaching Major Amounts, Guerilla-activity Engaged
Please peep the music, if only for a second. It's the musical atmosphere that each post is meant to have. I have a pretty eclectic taste so i'ma mix it up.
My name is J. Sly.
I don't blog. Well, atleast I didn't. But now shit has to get off my chest. Things are changing everywhere; in my life, in this country, across the globe, and in my mind and believe it or not I got things to say about it.
I'm startin this blog with the insane hope that it will get popular. Don't get it twisted, i'm not trying to be cool, but it would mean that the things I got to say resonate with other people-that's what it's all about, connecting us kids who are just struggling to get by. Whether you broke and gotta get that paper, survive your family, or even just make it to tomorrow, I feel you and you aint alone. We in this together, or atleast we should be. So let's get it poppin.
Who I be?
-A cynical, young black/mixed, 19yr old, manic-depressive, nymphomaniac, alcoholic, weed smoking, philosophizing, foulmouthed brotha.
-A revolutionary rebel in training fighting for a movement not yet realized.
-A boy searchin for the true meaning of God and faith.
-A "troubled" teen with anger management issues.
-A wanderer who's spirit yearns to see the world
-Just a kid trying to make his own way and bring his crew along with him
Take your pick or don't, it doesn't matter. I'm just me when it comes down to it.
You know what this blog is called and you know a bit about me.
So here we go.
My name is J. Sly.
I don't blog. Well, atleast I didn't. But now shit has to get off my chest. Things are changing everywhere; in my life, in this country, across the globe, and in my mind and believe it or not I got things to say about it.
I'm startin this blog with the insane hope that it will get popular. Don't get it twisted, i'm not trying to be cool, but it would mean that the things I got to say resonate with other people-that's what it's all about, connecting us kids who are just struggling to get by. Whether you broke and gotta get that paper, survive your family, or even just make it to tomorrow, I feel you and you aint alone. We in this together, or atleast we should be. So let's get it poppin.
Who I be?
-A cynical, young black/mixed, 19yr old, manic-depressive, nymphomaniac, alcoholic, weed smoking, philosophizing, foulmouthed brotha.
-A revolutionary rebel in training fighting for a movement not yet realized.
-A boy searchin for the true meaning of God and faith.
-A "troubled" teen with anger management issues.
-A wanderer who's spirit yearns to see the world
-Just a kid trying to make his own way and bring his crew along with him
Take your pick or don't, it doesn't matter. I'm just me when it comes down to it.
You know what this blog is called and you know a bit about me.
So here we go.
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